mom asked me if i was ok, and of course, i said no. she came over and just rocked me. it was awful. i couldn't stop crying and all i could say was "what am i supposed to tell jordan when he's older?" i know there are going to be questions and right now, i just don't have the answers.
clearly i need to start going to counseling or something. i thought i was in control and over it. but yea. as this post dictates, i'm not.
i want my son to have the best life he can and its just so unfair that there won't be a father for him to run to for answers or go to to toss a ball around or just be a boy with. all i can do is try and be the best mother i can for him. i can never be his dad, but i would do anything for this boy.
anyway, just pray for me. this has been a hard night and i doubt i'll see much sleep in the near future.
Aww, hun, I'm so sorry. I just want to say that Jordan is SO LUCKY to have you for a mom. You take such great care of him and I love hearing about him all the time and seeing all the pictures/videos you take. Everything's going to be alright, you'll see. :)
ReplyDeleteFeel better though, I'm here if you ever want to talk.
Jordan came to you for a reason. You are rocking it as a Mom, and he'll grow up to understand the situation.
ReplyDeleteI can't watch shows about husbands who beat their wives. I freak out. It reminds me of what my ex husband used to do to me. He used to really lay into me and would bust me up good. I haven't sought counseling either. It has taken me many years to even be OKAY about talking about it and to be okay with people that we mutually knew who are still friends with him.
I am sorry you went through what you did. People can be horrible monsters. Then we have our babies to remind us that not everyone is a monster. *hugs*
thank you both. brittany, you're definitely right. he's here and he's mine, for a reason. he's the most perfect thing that's ever happened to me, even if the WAY he got here was so imperfect. i'm so happy that you're out of the abusive relationship and married to a wonderful man who loves you! sophia is a lucky girl to have you both in her life.
ReplyDelete