I gave Blue a hug and a kiss before I went to bed. I told him not to be scared and that he didn't have to hold on for us if he was in pain. Then I hugged and kissed him again and went to bed. I woke up at about 5am to go to the bathroom. I went to check on Blue and he wasn't breathing. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the night bawling my eyes out. Thankfully, that was the one night that Jordan slept all night in his own bed.
I started looking around for places that we could take his body and Animal Control had no charge, so that's where I took him. The hardest part for me was trying to load him into my car. Truly seeing how lifeless his body and eyes were. I know in the movies, when people die, they just run their hands over the person's eyes and they close. I tried that and couldn't get his eyes closed. It was horrible.
My animals are like a part of my family. Anyone who thinks they aren't should be smacked. Really hard.
I've been having a really hard time with this. My heart just aches.
In the downpour of rain we had last night, I missed him even more. He was super scared of everything and would always come snuggle with me when he got scared. I'm really gonna miss that....
Anyway, I was talking to my Aunt, and she said that she'd read somewhere that making a little memorial for your pet can help heal your heart. She sent me a link to this picture:
So I'll probably get that.
I'm also thinking a tattoo is in order. Something simple. Something like this ish:
Only it'll look more like an actual paw print instead of something I threw together in Paint in 10 seconds.
We'll see.
It's no fun not having to be extra careful when I walk into my room for fear I'm going to trample him. It won't be fun in the winter time when I have to climb into a freezing bed (he would jump up on my bed and warm my feet area)
He wasn't much of a guard dog, but he sure did make me feel safe.
Love you Blue.....
