why i'm a blubbering mess today...

Benton, Ill. —

Virginia Grace Davis, 92, of Royalton passed away at 1:02 p.m. Monday, Dec. 27, 2010, at her home surrounded by her family.

Funeral services for Mrs. Davis will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 30, at Vantrease Funeral Home in Zeigler with Harry H. and Brad Brock officiating Entombment will be at Mulkeytown Cemetery. Visiting hours are from noon p.m. until the time of the services at the funeral home.

Grace was born Nov. 24, 1918, in Shelbyville to James Ted and Clara Cordillia (Buckley) Maxedon.

She married William Henry “Bill” Davis Aug. 10, 1935, in Royalton. He preceded her in death Oct. 5, 2005.

She is survived by a daughter and son-in-law, Clara Yvonne and Harry H. Brock of Royalton; three grandchildren, Matthew Brock of Tuscon, Ariz., William Bradley Brock and his wife, Bonita of Marble Hill, Mo., and Debbie Brock Faling of Christopher; eight great-grandchildren, Jessica and Matthew Brock of Tucson, Margaret Ann Brock, Amanda Brock Wittenborn and Lisa Brock, all of Marble Hill, Mo., and Julie Russell and her husband, Ronnie of Germany, and Christie and Richie Faling, all of Christopher; six great great-grandchildren, Jazmin, Alizabeth, Jordan, Matthew III, August and Logan; and a sister-in-law, Frieda Maxedon of Mt. Vernon.

A sister, Helen E. Greenwood, and two brothers, Bill and Ted Donald Maxedon, also preceded her in death.

Mrs. Davis was a member of the Church of Christ in Royalton and a homemaker.

Visit www.vantreasefuneralhome.com for more information and to sign the online register book.

yucky day.

Today started out pretty good and then just went downhill reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal fast.

My Dad called me and said that my Great-Grandma passed away. She's been on a downward spiral for years now, but the fact that now she's actually GONE is so bizarre. I guess I still never think that I'm going to die. I know that sounds really immature, but as I get older, mortality seems more, real. Me no likey.

She always made the best food. Any kind of anything she made was delicious. We would watch these movies: "Cinderfella" and "The Shakiest Gun in the West" and she would just crack up like she'd never seen them before! That laugh of her's was so amazing. It would fill the room and make you want to laugh right along with her. She was also an amazingly generous and selfless woman. Never thinking of herself before anyone. I'm really going to miss her...But, I'm glad that she gets to be with the love her life again.

After THAT, the day was pretty calm. My brother called and said we should have a memorial dinner for my grandma since we're all so far away. So I was getting ready for that when this happened...

I was straightening my hair and had both the babies in the bathroom with me. Ashlyn was getting into something, so I was getting her hands out of whatever and I heard Jordan whimpering behind me. Nothing alarming, just his usual "quit paying attention to Ashlyn and not me, Mom" whimper. So I continued on. His whimper got louder so I turned around and there he was, my sweet baby, holding on to the plates of the stupid straightener. I would have thought that he would let go once he realized it was hot, but nope. I had to pry his sweet little fingers off the thing. Then he set in with his blood curdling scream. I ran his hand under some room temperature water, wrapped it in a towel and collapsed onto the floor with him in my arms. I just sat there crying with him. It was the worst feeling I've felt in my life.

Like it was all my fault.

I always hand the straightener up when I'm using it. When I was 7 months old, I pulled my Mom's curling iron down on my arm and she said it was her worst motherhood moment. I never wanted that to happen, so I took precautions to make sure it didn't. And then it did. It was up at 26 out of 30 and I never turn it up that high. I just wanted to straighten my hair fast and be done with it. That'll teach me. My poor kid. He teaches me all these lessons. Unfortunately, they never seem to be very fun for him.

1. Mommy, keep your nail polish in a drawer where I can't eat it.

2. Mommy, don't leave me sitting in my carseat on the couch where I can fall off and blacken my eye.

3. Mommy, never forget to hang up your straightener so I don't burn myself like this again.

I don't know how many more of these lessens I can take....

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Let me just start by saying that I LOVE Christmas. It is absolutely my favorite holiday and I'm always sad when it ends. This year didn't really feel like Christmas though. It was about 70 degrees and all bright and sunshiny. Blech. Oooooooh well.

We just did gifts for the babies this year which I actually like. I hate buying for people that I have no clue what to get. So it was nice not to have to do that this year.

It was fantastic to see the look on jordan's face when he opened his very first present!

All in all, our little Christmas was pretty good!

2010 has been a pretty crappy year, so hopefully better things will show up in 2011!

Happy Christmas!

just for kicks because he's so flippin' cute...

Pictures!

Today, was picture day yet again. Charla and I calculated and determined that we have been to the People 4 times in the past 2 months. Yea. Anyway, it was a lot of fun and Jordan was SOOO good this time! No more screaming baby :) When we came in, the girl who took our pictures last time looked at Jordan and said, "IIIIIIIIII remember you..." Ha ha. She looked a little scared. But everything was fine and I will now only take him to get pictures in the morning. Here are the fruits of our labor:

I love them ALL and I'm so thankful that my baby has a built in buddy!

*insert weepy face here*

Today was my Mama's birthday! She is now the lovliest 50 year old grandma in the world <3

We had a really busy day, but had an amazing brunch and dinner with family. Obviously that's not the part I want to cry about. We were driving along and Jordan was playing with his foot. All of the sudden he says "daddy!" Clear as a bell. And he just kept saying it over and over and over again. It was awful. It felt like my heart was in some sort of car compressor thing. It just makes me really angry that he isn't going to have someone to call daddy. There's nothing I can do about it, but it really hits a sad place in my heart for my boy :(

But onto some happier things....SANTA! We went to Tubac (again) yesterday for the Festival of Lights. Sooooo pretty. (Truth be told, I mostly just like to go to see Santa!!) We got there and one of the shop ladies said that Santa had left. So, I was sad, but we decided to see if we could find another one. All we came across was a stuffed Santa. I figured a stuffed Santa was better than no Santa at all!

After that, I saw a guy that kind of looked like Santa, without a beard. So, I chased him down and asked him to take a picture with Jordan (I thought for SURE he was gonna cry, but he didn't!) Turns out that the guy actually plays Santa in his hometown! But they were on vacation, so I guess that's why he had no beard.

I think its funny how they both look VERY unsure about the other. HA HA!

A little while later, my cousin called me and said THEY FOUND SANTA!! So we got yet another picture with Santa lol!

It was a fun night and I can't wait for Christmas!! The house is as decorated as its going to get, stockings are up, fancy Christmas outfit for Jordan is picked out and ready to be worn!! YAY CHRISTMAS!!

Burlesque

So I went to see this movie with my good friend, Liz. We were obviously expected tons of glitter, sequins and drag queen make-up (because when Cher, Christina Aguilera & Alan Cumming get together...let's be honest. It's like a glittery fantastic parade!) but I don't think either of us was expecting it to actually be a really good movie.

All I have to say is that she whipped out those amazing pipes within the first 5 minutes of the movie and I got goosebumps. It was stupendous.

So, if you have even the slight desire to go see it, do.

8 thumbs up from the girl who wishes she could shake it burlesque style.

this is what gave me goosebumps.

my eyeballs hurt

but i wanted to get this blog in before it isn't the 18th anymore! jordan. 13 months old and a firm 22 pounds. i love him so much and sometimes, its hard to believe that i created him. he's amazing and precious and so stinkin' smart! he loves books and would rather be outside in the dirt than inside watching cartoons <3>

i hate that he does crap like that. i mean, seriously? EVERYTHING has to go in your mouth? just send me to the loony bin now.

also, i was taking his picture today and gave him the letters i painted for his door. i told him to be gentle with them, so what does he do? picks them up and smashes them on the floor. apparently i yelled louder than i intended and he almost cried. i hate failing at being his mommy. it makes me feel miserable. but he's fine now and the letters are fixed. i need a gentler temper.

oh yea! i colored my hair today! i've had the dye for like a week now, but just got around to it today. i always expect it to come out looking crappy since i do it myself. however, i always LOVE the way it turns out in the end. so, yay me!

b-b-b-BIRTHDAY!

so, yesterday (well, the 16th) was my birthday and it was infinitely better than last year's. so yay! last year, all jordan wanted to do was cry. and it was just...frustrating. in his defense, he wasn't even a month old yet, but still! i thought he should have a little respect for mommy's birthday. i'm happy to say that i am now wiser. babies don't give a crap. unless its in their diaper. *snicker snicker*

i was going to post a picture of him and i right here, but i guess the day was so bad, i didn't take one. ha.

so here's one from this year instead:

it was a wonderful day and i couldn't have asked for better people to spend it with. everyone who loves me, was there to help me celebrate. YAY!

also, at my birthday dinner, my nephew was wearing an outfit of jordan's that i gave them. it was so sad because i don't remember jordan being that small. i mean, i know he was, but it was so strange seeing it on a super tiny baby. and seeing also that it fit.

see?:

le sigh...

i guess that means...he's...growing up. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

i should have known better

than to watch law and order: SVU. i can't watch it without bursting into tears and having nightmares. its been a while since i watched it and there was nothing else on t.v. so i left it there. that was such a bad idea. i was ok for most of it, but towards the end, they were making this woman tell the details of her rape and i just burst into tears and flipped the channel.

mom asked me if i was ok, and of course, i said no. she came over and just rocked me. it was awful. i couldn't stop crying and all i could say was "what am i supposed to tell jordan when he's older?" i know there are going to be questions and right now, i just don't have the answers.

clearly i need to start going to counseling or something. i thought i was in control and over it. but yea. as this post dictates, i'm not.

i want my son to have the best life he can and its just so unfair that there won't be a father for him to run to for answers or go to to toss a ball around or just be a boy with. all i can do is try and be the best mother i can for him. i can never be his dad, but i would do anything for this boy.

anyway, just pray for me. this has been a hard night and i doubt i'll see much sleep in the near future.

well.....last night was just downright yucky. jordan was acting weird all day and then at dinner time, he didn't want to eat. anything. he just wanted gobs of water. which i gladly gave him. i breastfed him, rocked him to sleep and placed him in his bed. he slept for about 5 minutes and woke up screaming. i went into his room, frustrated. he WILL NOT stay asleep in his bed so he's been sleeping with me. i got down to his level and explained to him "this is ridiculous. this isn't gonna be a thing now, mister. mommy needs some sleep too baby..." he started getting upset and bouncing a little on his mattress. then......*barfing noise* baby puke everywhere. on him, on me, in his bed, on the floor. everywhere. to the sink we went where he vomited again. drain. refill. wash. i got him dressed and changed myself and sat down to cuddle with him. where again, he vomited everywhere.

if he's ever in some frat boy puking contest (god forbid) he'll win for best projectile. seriously. that kid's got range...

anyway, back to the sink. more vomit. once everyone is cleaned up again we cuddle til he falls asleep. sitting up. at 11pm. i take him back to his bed and perform the least graceful transfer from my arms to his mattress and miraculously, he stays asleep. i crawled into bed, exhausted and napped for an hour before jordan was up crying again.

but today is a new day and my bright eyed, smiley boy is back again!

i tried giving him pedialyte today, and he just looks at me and spits it out.

stinker.

quiet time boredom

today was an awful day and i'm glad that its over and i have some "ME" time. but, i found myself bored with the me time and decided to do something creative. so here it is:

jordan has this toy drum that goes through all the letters of the alphabet when you thump it. so yea...that's my creative thing for today.

new addition

no. not the band....a baby!!!! my brother and sister-in-law welcomed their 2nd son together into the world tonight. his name is august mason brock. he was born at 7:09pm and was 6lbs 7.9oz and 18 inches long. he is so flippin cute i could just keel over! he's the littlest baby i've ever held and he's just so cute and.....iughijokljhusdf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here he is with his mommy

and his daddy

with grandma

with aunt jessica (ME!)

big brother, nana and mommy

aunt jazmine and august

and this is him all by his sweet little self <3

just to show how small he is...his little foot is only as big as my thumb!! how crazy is that?

so congratulations to my brother and sister in law! and thank you for blessing our family with another sweet little boy!

updates

so its been a while since i've posted, and yes, there IS a reason! my aunt and cousin (plus her baby) came in from new york! so there is lots to talk about: they came in on wednesday really late, so we decided that thursday would be a lazy/recover day. but aunt nancy got a little stir crazy, so we went to the park!

jordan has been to the park before, but he was too little to enjoy anything. but this time he LOVED the swings and the slides and especially...the dirt.

swinging away!

making sure that dirt is ok to stand on...

it was ok to stand on, so it must be good throwing dirt!

of course after all that, it was bathtime.

friday was soooo much fun! we went to the zoo! it is so much better when your child can look around and point to the animals and make funny noises :) he is really just the best thing in the world. anyway, my brother and little nephew came and my daddy was there too!! i was wishing my mom could have been there as well, but i have a feeling she wouldn't have had a very good time with her leg and all...that day i was wishing i had a double stroller. thankfully, little brother had an extra one that he lent me. so off to the races!!

it was also special because it was ashlyn's birthday!! watching them grow up is bittersweet...

zoo pictures:

we saw the otters doing their "thing"....ew.

they gave the lioness a frozen blood/meat bucket sized popsicle (the lion passed away recently, so, no boy lion pictures)

jordan was pretty mad that i was making him do stuff. oh well.

turtle salad!

jordan with grandpa

jordan and ashlyn sitting on the cute little stool.

*growl*

after the zoo, we went to my cousin's house to go swimming. we got all swimweared out, walked over to the pool and it was freezing. not in the figurative way either. that water had to be at least 32 degrees. SO cold. so swimming was a bust, but we still had fun hanging out by the pool.

after all the zoo and swimming, we went out to dinner with charla and ashlyn to celebrate ashlyn's birthday. we had some yummy dinner, and then got some cupcakes for the kiddos to eat.

this is how they ended up:

jordan completely destroyed his cupcake. smearing it all over his face, jacket and the table. ashlyn wasn't really too sure about the whole cupcake idea. but she DID eat a brownie instead!

it was a very long day, so after we went shopping (:D) we headed home and this is how my little booger ended up falling asleep!

saturday, we went to buckalew farms to pick pumpkins! it was so much fun (minus the "oh i should have probably worn actual shoes for this" moment)

(p.s. for any of you who don't know, if you click on the picture, you can see the full size image!)

as we were heading home, we saw a gorgeous sunset

then when we finally got home, i carved my pumpkin:

sunday, of course, was halloween :) we went trick-or-treating with charla and ashlyn and i'm convinced it should now be a tradition.

jordan's costume was a hit! there was a man at one of the houses we stopped at who called EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE outside to look at my beebee *insert proud mama face here* we got buttloads of candy and it was just so much fun!

see what a cutie patootie he is?!?!

the loot!

trying to dig in!

so that was the family visit (that took me TWO DAYS to write....) we had lots of fun and can't wait to do it again soon!