emotional much?

i just finished watching an episode of 16 and pregnant. it was about a girl and her ex who were flip flopping on the idea of adoption. they finally decided that they were going to give up their son. its just so weird to think that at one point, that was an option for me. it didn't take long to put the kibosh on it, but it was there.

i cried my eyes out when she handed him over to the "new parents". i was immediately reminded of why i didn't choose adoption. i knew that i wouldn't be able to go through 9 months of feeling kicks and seeing him on ultrasounds and go through the incredible pain of labor and have nothing to show for it at the end of it all. i just couldn't walk away with nothing.

i know that things would be different had i chosen a different option, but i wouldn't have been able to live with any other decision. i don't know why i'm still crying as i write this. i guess i'm still thinking about the heartbreaking look on that girls face. also listening to her parents supporting only adoption. i consider myself so incredibly lucky to have the love and support from my family with the choice i made.

i chose to give him life.

i chose to forever change my life and who i am.

i chose to find the love of my life in his tiny little face.

i chose to be his mommy.

i have never doubted that i made the right decision. i love jordan with everything that i am and i can't imagine my life without him.